Wonder, Ponder.

You don't see it, you can't even feel. You never have and I doubt that you ever will.
For years I wasted seconds of my life for the likes of you and my foolish beliefs things could get slightly better. I wanna rip my hair out and let you see the madness that you would still be blind too.
You were always a blind fool. A blind fool I tried to give my all too but even that was never enough.

Do you even wonder, ponder on what I am doing right now? Or the hell you set upon me and how it's destroyed me. I of course could never admit to this, I'd place on my mask I wore for all those years just to please your bitter shell. What a fool you were. Too foolish to even read the mask that expressed my feelings, a broken mask it was.

If only I could go back in time, which I am so gullible to wish for. I'd change my actions, the feelings and protect myself. Though I can't say I regret anything, I guess I'm just disappointed about the outcomes but I can say that I've come to realization that I have so much waiting for me. The future may be far from my reach but doesn't mean I can't make up for the mistakes I've made in my life.

But, when you do take time to wonder, ponder on what I am doing at this very moment. I'll be sure to not even give it the time of day, whether it's just a feeling I get or you suddenly pop back up into my life.

You lost out.
The light is out.
Curtains closed.